Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Relapse

Hello people. Lately I have been making pretty good progress moving on or at least occupying my time so I don't think about her all day. Well last night and this morning that progress was set back about a week. I had a very unfortunate dream last night, and when I woke up this morning I could just tell it was going to be a bad day. I see my doctor today at 2:15 to see about sleeping pills and anti-depressants. I start seeing a therapist next month I believe. I honestly don't know what to do with myself anymore.

I can't play the games we used to for fear that it would bring back memories and just hurt me more. I can't watch the shows we used to watch for the same reason. I find myself occupying my time by hanging out with my few remaining friends and my family. The part that will still have anything to do with me anyways. I gave up my life to be with this girl. If I wouldn't have we wouldn't have made it two years. And yes I'm thankful for those two years every day. But I'm also saddened by the fact they were thrown away in an instant. I don't know what to do. I've been taking your advice in the comments and trying to play games and watch shows and hang out with friends. I've tried everything in every comment that seemed reasonable and logical, and still nothing. I never want to forget about her, I just need a solid way to either move on, or convince her what she did was hurtful and she should at LEAST, at the very fucking least, apologize to me for what she did and said to me.

I know I'm asking for the impossible with this one guys. I just don't know who else to turn to.

18 comments:

  1. Too often we try to force our emotions to bend to our will. You spent two years with her, you can't bottle up all those feelings overnight. Time is going to be the best medicine in this situation.

    That being said, dwelling on what once was and what could've been is poisonous. Life is not static, and no matter how bleak the day can be now, there still are opportunities for happiness down the line.

    It won't be today, probably not tomorrow, and might be even months if not longer, but there WILL come a time when you can wake up and face the day. My grandfather turned 96 years old a couple months back, and I can't even begin to imagine the ebb and flow of a life that long, the heartbreaks and sadness that had to be dealt with. But if you look at him you find a man enjoying every day he has here alive.

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  2. Just try and stay with it all, if you let yourself slip it's gonna all go wrong. Keep on top of things and then one day you'll be ready to face it

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  3. Chin up mate. If you need a chat drop me a comment.

    Literally the only way to quickly move on is to get another girl. How to do this is your choice, online, offline, nightclubs, art galleries.

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  4. Sorry to hear this bro, but things are going to get better.
    I just hope you don't have to see her regularly, I work with my ex, and it kills me when she comes in with hickies on her neck

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  5. I gotta say I respect your courage in displaying your emotions publicly, from personal experience the only thing i can tell you is it takes time, lots and lots of time to heal and get over a terrible situation.
    Hang in there

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  6. I say try something new, something completely out of your comfort zone. Something that helps force your mind off things because you are focusing on your new craft/skill/sport/hobby.

    The when you are the top footbag (just a thought) competitor you can spit in her hair.

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  7. I respect you're willingness to embrace your emotions, but like other people have said, don't let them cloud your judgment. You'll have to accept that some people are just too dense or too heartless to realize the harm they've caused. Don't hinge YOUR recovery on HER stupidity and inconsiderateness. Be strong.

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  8. Tough to hear, good stuff though! Will be back daily!

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  9. try hanging out with some beer. its allways a good listener :)

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  10. Socialize! You might just find another girl.

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  11. Socialize, get laid, find a girl. In that order. It's the only way.

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  12. wow. this seems super serious. i feel for you. good luck.

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  13. The road to recovery when depressed can be very long man. Hang in there, things will work out.

    Best of luck.

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