Last "feelings" post

Alright guys I promise this will be the last one about my feelings, I'll try my best to continue stories tomorrow if I can. Anyways, let's begin.

So I woke up this morning after only two hours of sleep. Sleep definately isn't coming easy to me. I haven't eaten since it happened a few days ago. I also turned down a few offers to go out and hang out with people because I didn't want to bring the mood of those people down too. I tried just forgetting about it, but there's no way that will solve anything quickly. I tried doing other things that make me happy, but they just depress me because we used to do them together. I think my mom has set something up with a therapist. I used to go to therapy when I was younger because I have been through two suicides, both girlfriends at the time. On top of that, and my father doing five months ago I'm pretty numb.

I don't really know if she'll come back. Frankly I'm not sure I should even wait for something that probably won't happen. Yeah I miss her a lot, but she really hurt me. And I'm afraid if she came back I'd feel differently about her because of how much she hurt me. She still never gave me a reason as to why she left, so I have no closure. But from what I understand there's no other guy involved, she just got tired of me I guess.

Anyways, I feel pretty alone. Hung out with my brother and played some halo, that helped temporarily but after about two hours I just starting getting down again. I tried eating earlier and just threw it all back up (sorry if that's gross.) Tried reading my favorite book and I lost interest. I guess I just wanted to vent to someone, and my audience here is a good a place as any. Thanks for those of you who read this whole passage, I really appreciate knowing that some of you will.

Take care everyone.