Saturday, October 23, 2010

Finally got some Closure

So my two year and two month relationship is finally over as of last night. Now the greiving process begins and I try to move on. I lost two previous girlfriends due to suicide. I will be put back on anti-depressants next week hopefully. I hate myself because I know throughout the rest of my life I will compare every girl to her. She was the one I wanted to marry. The one I wanted to have kids with.

She knew everything there was to know about me. We liked all the same video games, movies, books, music, everything. We were going to move in with each other on Christmas. Start our life together. And now I feel like mine ended abruptly. The worst part of it all is she doesn't care about me anymore. Hasn't for a long time. It just took me a while to realize it.

She had aspergers, which made her a very cold person, especially when she didn't take her medicine. I believe in my heart of hearts that most of the mean and hurtful things she said and did to me stem from that. She hasn't been on her medicine for a year now, and it's noticable. The reason she gave me for leaving is that we both changed. But I didn't. She changed enough for the both of us.

I can't promise anything but I'll try to stop writing about this whole thing. I know it's not healthy to linger on the past.

Jess if you ever read this, know that I still love you. I always will.

Thank you.

37 comments:

  1. In the last 2 years, I've had 2 girls that I fell in love with break my heart. I've had a good amount of girls in my life, but none of them compared to those 2. I never got any closure from either of them. They took the cowardly way out and decided to just quit talking to me. One of them is even getting married now.
    The one thing I wish I had was closure. I just want to know why they did what they did. Consider yourself lucky that you at least got that.

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  2. Jesus Christ, that is some rough stuff there. How the hell do you find a silver lining in that?

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  3. Hey, at least you have a place, this blog, where you can vent a little. There are too many people out there who don't even have that and just let all their troubles get bottled up inside themselves.

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  4. hey man, I know that sucks. You'll get through it, and you'll find another.

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  5. My ex gf also committed suicide by sliding her wrists..Feels bad man.

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  6. Sorry to hear that. Seems like things are just piling on, but you just gotta keep on keepin' on. We're here for you.

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  7. holy shit man, thats ruff.
    you need something to pick you back up on your feet.

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  8. I hope things get better man. I can't say I know what it feels like, but I am sure it is terrible.

    :'(

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  9. I hope things get better for you man. I have aspergers too and it can be a bitch sometimes. Love hurts, bro, but time heals all wounds

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  10. I hope things get better mate.
    Time will heal it, trust me.
    Just remember the best out of it, just don't do anything you'll regret.

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  11. That's rough man. I'm still recovering from getting my heart broken too. It's been months. I'm sorry you're going through this :/

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  12. Whatever you need to do to get it out, get it out... even if it means boring your readers. We have the option of not reading it if we don't want; but you... if you bottle it up... it will only be worse. Get it out of your system. Forget about her. Marriage is overrated anyway...

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  13. Holy crap ticklers batman that's a real panoramic view!

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  14. Double for ... The Lazy Geographer said...
    Something I always tell my wife. There is a difference between Venting TOO and Venting ON someone. Too often people wait and wait and wait and then blow up at someone. Let it all out m8.

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  15. Things will get better as time passes. And I agree, if venting it out thinking you are going to bore us will make you feel beter. THEN BORE US! lol

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  16. that shit is sad man. but in the end u need to move on and get over it. dont let yourself be used by women, otherwise they WILL hurt you.

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  17. wow man i hope everything lightens up..

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  18. keep your head up man. things will get better

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  19. that shit is sad man. but in the end u need to move on and get over it. dont let yourself be used by women, otherwise they WILL hurt you. [2]

    FuckABitch.

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  20. I'm so sorry. Move on. Everyone does it, so you should.

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  21. :(
    In time, things will get better.

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  22. follow me! I clicked you! this blog is hilarious!

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  23. wow man im sorry :C many fish in the sea my friend

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  24. You have to find something to do then, before your feelings sleep too deeply into your mind. Good luck.

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  25. great post, thank you for sharing

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  26. Wow thats some rough stuff man. Good luck

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  27. you got balls of steel, don't give up!

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  28. remember, in order to move forward, you gotta put the past behind you. try not to compare new potentials to this one dude, youll get past it. just take this time to relax and find yourself again.

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  29. Just reread this. Hang in there brother.

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  30. Wish I could give you advice to make this situation better, but I fear I can't. I'm real sorry for your heartbreak. Stay strong, friend.

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  31. Learning to move on is the hardest part. Once you overcome this obstacle life will be much better

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  32. I ended a 27 month relationship about a year ago. She was amazing, and it did hurt. But you'll stand right back up. I've already got a good thing going with a great girl. Love will find you, brother.

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